Rose Petals
by tell me what you want to hear
Summary: Clare and Eli are both in a group home. They both have have a past and a future, Together they will discover each others secrets and prove that true love conquers all. FULL SUMMARY INSIDE.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, Before you start reading this..**

**Lets get it straight.**

**This is a very OOC and AU fan fiction.**

**Summary:  
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Clare is in a group home and so is Eli.

They both have dark pasts that can very easily tear them apart if they leave the safe harbor of their minds.

You will see how Clare and Eli both heal with the help of each other, How Eli breaks Clare out of her shell and makes her see the world differently and encourages her to change her ways, All the while offering her a shoulder to cry on.

In this story, You will discover how love can truly conquer all and how having secrets about your past can always raise the stake of it coming back to haunt you.

_Just remember, This is completely irrelevant to degrassi._

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, but I do own the personalities and life choices, As well as the plot.**

**Please try to keep an open mind with this story, I can guarantee it will be great.**

**Warning: If you can not handle self harm, Talk of drug use, or alcohol use, You should hit the back button.**

**Rating M: This fanfic is rated M, because although there is not drug use, there is drug/alcohol related issues and discussions, Along with self harm. You have been warned.**_**

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I finished eating my meatloaf that was probably three days old and flung my backpack over my shoulder before I grabbed my spiral notebook and black pen before I walked to the yard where the picnic table I have gone to every morning for the past month resided.

I death glared everyone that looked at my bright pink hair, Massive eye liner, Fishnet gloves and tights along with my favorite black mini skirt, and long sleeved shirt. I made it known the moment I got to this washed up group home that if you have the guts to get in my way, You're going to wish you hadn't. But that didn't seem to be a problem here, Just like high school, Everyone had their stupid cliché group of friends, While I-of course- was an outcast. That was alright with me, Being an outcast and avoiding any form of socialization was my specialty.

Once I reached the picnic table, I brought all of my hair-That was now to my elbows- to fall over my shoulders so it covered my face and opened up my spiral journal, I immediately started to write, I always write, No matter where I am, I have a spiral notebook with me, I write poems. Reading poetry and writing poetry is the only thing that will never change in my life, I will always have it wherever life takes me, Whether it is my fifteenth group home or my moms twenty-eighth apartment, I can always write.

I continued to scribble down line after line of my poem until the abrupt light from the sun that was fanning over me was blocked and a shadow covered the top of the table.

I sighed heavily and looked up through my hair to see who was blocking my sun.

I almost stopped breathing, My eyes met piercing green eyes, His black and leather clothes with chains dangling were perfectly fitted to his tall lean body, And his hair was dark black and covering part of his eyes, I had never seen him before, But then again, I haven't talked to anyone. My stone cold, locked up and chained heart started beating at a heightened pace for a few seconds before I locked it back up and gained back my composure.

I closed my eyes in the slightest to show him my signature glare and frightening makeup. He didn't look scared or even taken aback. My eyebrows knitted together and I put down my pen.

"You're blocking my sun." I said in a flat, cold as ice tone.

Instead of leaving like I wanted him to, He sat down.

My glare turned into an absolute hate filled stare.

"What are you writing?" He asked in a completely oblivious tone, I blinked a few times, Did he not get the hint?

I wanted to tell him to leave, Or to get the fuck away from the table, But something told me if I told him to go away it would just make him stay longer.

I did my best to soften my features slightly, But not enough so that I didn't look intimidating. "A poem." I said in a bored tone.

He turned his head to the side slightly and smirked. "oh."

I sighed and closed my journal before laying my pen on top of it.

I pulled my sleeves down so that they were covering my palms a little bit and folded my hands under my chin and raised an eyebrow. "Do you need something?"

His eyes rested on my left hand and they roamed over my small tattoo of a rose with its vine wrapping around my pinky.

"Do you like roses?" He asked finally meeting my eyes.

His gaze was intense, Some other emotion was just under the surface and I couldn't figure out what it was. I stared at him for a moment trying to figure out what his problem was before I decided it was obvious, He realized getting involved with me in any way possible would be a bad idea.

My lips turned up slightly. "Yes."

"What kind?" He asked.

I looked at him confused. "Red."

He nodded and continued staring at me, I broke away from eye contact and my eyes wandered before settling on the necklace he was wearing, It was tucked in a little bit so I couldn't see what it was.

I decided to figure out, For some reason, I had a desire to know him. Not know him and be his friend, But to just know why he is here. Why he sat at my table? Why he talked to me.

"What is your necklace?" I asked breaking the silence.

He reached down and pulled it out of his shirt.

"It's just a guitar pick."

I examined it for a moment before I nodded and shifted uncomfortably looking down at my notebook, Why wasn't he leaving?

"What's your name?" He asked after a minute of yet again, Another uncomfortable silence.

"Clare." I said looking up at him through my eye lashes.

He smiled. "I'm Eli."

I nodded again and clasped and unclasped my hands. I want him to leave, But I also want him to stay. Something about him appeals to me. But letting someone else in is out of the question, If I push everyone away there is no possible way to get hurt. I have to end this now before I actually let myself be his friend or even someone that is minutely involved in my life, I began absentmindedly chewing on my lip.

"What are you in the group home for?" He asked eyes set on my lips.

I stopped biting my lip and my eyes widened. Instantly, The images I was able to keep locked up for so long flooded to the front of my brain, They flickered back and forth between the first time I went into a group home up to now, The moment I saw my mom in one of the flashing images I got up from the table.

"What's wrong?" Eli asked but I ignored him and put my notebook in my bag.

"Did I say something wrong?" He asked, Confused.

Again, I said nothing. I slung my backpack over my shoulder and fast walked out of the yard, I could hear Eli yelling my name and the voices of everyone around me but once I reached the double doors that lead to the inside of the house all of the noise stopped.

I quietly walked down the hall until I reached the bathroom. I quickly went inside and locked the door. I turned on the water and dropped my bag before sliding down to cold tile floor. I opened my bag and felt around for the altoids candy tin. When I found it I opened it and lifted the clear plastic wrap that was under the mints before I spotted the small silver razor from a pencil sharpener. I balanced the tin on my knee and sighed a small shaky sigh before I rolled up my left sleeve, I examined the old cuts and the fresh cuts, The one from two nights ago was pretty deep and a little infected. I found a spot that was unscarred and slowly brought the blade across my arm. I tilted my head as the small beads of blood followed after I removed the small blade. I watched with a calm expression and an at ease atmosphere, With every cut came a price, It wasn't much, Just a scar. But the reward made it worth while, The world would stop spinning, Even if just for a minute, But it stopped, I could see clearly, I could feel happy. Even though it was for a short time, It was enough to get me by.

I tilted my arm slightly so the blood wouldn't spill on me before I put the blade back into the tin and closed it throwing it into the biggest pocket of my bag, I got up and looked in the mirror pulling my other sleeve up and examining my scars, There were many, Covering my arms, But never my legs, Just my arms. I could name the reason behind every single one. I slowly trailed my finger tips over the bumpy scars on each arm and named every reason.

It started around a year ago, I don't know how it happened, I don't know what made me do this to myself, But I know I can't stop, It is the only thing that can keep me sane, The only thing that can guarantee I will be okay. I know it has something to do with my mom, Her over use of the word boyfriend and Her under use of the word love, Moving to a different apartment every three or so months, I had went to over five different school last year before I finally gave up and dropped out. I didn't get into drugs or alcohol, My mother proved that it gets you nowhere, And I sure as hell am not going to willingly destroy my life by the use of drugs or alcohol. Instead, I got dead end jobs wherever I could, And I wrote poetry.

Sighing again in contentment I cleaned the cut that had now stopped bleeding and pulled my sleeves down.

I looked in the mirror and turned my head to make sure everything looked normal, I checked my sleeves again, And I headed out the bathroom door.

And just like every other time, I walked down the hallway to my bedroom, like nothing had ever happened. Like the walls of my life weren't crumbling and the only thing keeping them intact was the blade. Like the mysterious goth boy, Eli had no chance of holding any importance to me. Like Everything was perfect.

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So, I know this writing style is different from my other stories,

But this will be good, I promise you.

Just keep an open mind, And have the ability to accept different atmospheres and personality traits for both of these characters.

Anyways, I would appreciate it if you didn't flame this story, Because I CLEARLY stated what it was about.

If you chose to not read the authors note,

Then that's your problem.

But I'll get flames no matter what..so..go ahead, torch this story, I'm going to write it no matter what.

I would also appreciate feedback, This is a new take on writing and a new story I think I will enjoy writing it. I hope you will enjoy reading it as well.

This will be many chapters..I can't tell you how many but I can guarantee it will be a lot.

Anyways, Before I bore you with my rambling,

Leave me a review?

XoXo


	2. NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR

Well, it has been a crazy year.  
I've had a lot going on..more than you can imagine.  
I can't remember the last time I sat down to write.  
I don't even know what to say, the support you all have given me despite my hiatus has been amazing. I enjoy your reviews, and they inspire me more than words can explain.  
I'm happy to say that I am officially back.  
I wont be disappearing again, I am beyond excited to get back into the world of fanfiction.  
I hope that you all will forgive me for the hiatus..I was looking through my old stories lately, I even giggled a little at the terrible grammar. I had such a wonderful time reading stories, and watching as I progressed. As I used more descriptive words, and an extensive vocabulary as well as proper punctuation.

I'm really overfilled with happiness. It's summer now and I can finally work on writing stories..  
I haven't kept up with Degrassi. I will most likely watch the last season, that's the only one I've missed. I hope to watch it over the summer.

As you all know, I tend to write OOC stories for the most part, so I suppose whether I have watched the season or not is not relevant.

Okay, uhmmmm. What else can I tell you?

I am working on the second chapter of Rose Petals, I'm not sure if anyone is even still interested in that story but on the slight chance that you are, I will be posting a chapter.

I currently do not have any plans to start a sequel on parenthood. I will eventually, of course. But, right now I am so detached from the story I have no idea where I would start. It was the most successful story I have ever written and I enjoyed every second of it. I know I will go back to it eventually.

I suppose I should end this novel now. Thank you so much for supporting me, and dealing with my breaks and the halt I put on the parenthood story. I look forward to posting stories again and getting back into the FF community.

feel free to message me if you have any questions, or story requests.

Thanks again.

xoxo.


	3. Chapter 3

It feels amazing to be writing again. I am rather pleased with how this chapter came out. I am a little rusty and a little out of shape in terms of writing fanfiction. But, I tried. And, overall I am satisfied with the outcome. I enjoyed writing this story from the start and I am very excited to finally get back to it.

I hope you enjoy it.

And, I hope you are not disappointed.

Feel free to review.

Thank you :3

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi. If I did, it probably wouldn't be such a success.

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For the next three weeks Eli and I didn't talk, not one word. He wasted a week trying to talk to me but I would turn a corner or go back to my room whenever I spotted him. Eventually, he gave up.

It wasn't until the night my mom called that we started talking again. I was trying to get some sleep when one of the women working the night shift at the group home knocked on my door and told me that I had a phone call. At first, I was confused; who did I know that knew I was in a group home? But when I hesitantly said hello and heard a bubbly "Clare! Baby girl, I miss you!" I knew it was her.

She still sounded the same, slurring and stammering. She told me about how hard she was trying to get me back and that she had met 'the one'. I knew better, she had met the one at least thirty times before. This was no different; she would change her mind eventually. I heard his voice in the background as my mom tried to talk to me, he was griping at her to get off the phone. She told me that she loved me and that she would call me soon, and hung up. I clung to the phone for a brief moment, trying to catch the breath that was caught in my throat. There was so much I wanted-needed-to say to her but it never mattered, she never asked me how I felt about being in a group home, if I was okay, how I was feeling, nothing. I hung up the phone and slid to the ground. My head fell in my hands and I brought my knees to my chest, my head was throbbing from the words I refused to say, the words I kept in. After a few minutes of holding back tears and finally composing myself I felt someone in my presence; when I looked up I met the piercing green eyes of a boy with shaggy black hair and a bottle of liquor in his hand, Eli.

I quickly shuffled to my feet and awkwardly made eye contact with him. I was on the verge of breaking the uncomfortable silence when he beat me to it, "Want to help me finish this?" He asked, alcohol on his breath; lifting the bottle slightly. My eyebrow crooked and I blinked a few times, confusion evident on my face. I almost smiled, almost. His first words to me in weeks were a suggestion of getting drunk, he didn't ask why I had avoided him, why I was slouching on the floor in the middle of a hallway, he asked me if I wanted to get drunk with him. The corners of my mouth turned up just enough to form a small smile, he smiled back but his eyes looked puzzled.

After a brief moment, I answered, "I don't drink..often." Something in me wanted too, though. I desired some form of self-destruction and as much as I wanted to tear apart my skin I was leaning more towards getting drunk. It was a rare feeling, but I just wanted someone to talk to. I felt so rejected by mother, so hurt by her. I didn't want to talk about how I felt, what I was going through, I just wanted to talk about anything and everything with someone, I needed a distraction. He shrugged and twirled the bottle a few times, "We don't have to drink. We could go up to the rooftop; it's peaceful there, quiet." I weighed my options. I could go back to my room, lay alone in bed in the pitch dark and do nothing but think and hear my roommate snore. Or…I could go to the rooftop, and enjoy the cool air and have company. "I guess we could go to the rooftop.." He smirked and turned to walk away, I followed.

After climbing two flights of stairs in dead silence we arrived at the door to the rooftop. Eli pulled out a key and unlocked the door. "How'd you even get that?" I wondered aloud. He pushed open the door and held it open for me before shrugging at my question. I quickly got over the curiosity when I looked around me. It was dark apart from a street light; the stars twinkled in the sky and something rabout the sound of Eli's breathing and the soft breeze ruffling the trees made me feel at peace. Eli moved to my side and took a long drink from the bottle before offering it to me; I briefly bounced around the idea of taking a drink before deciding to just give in. I took a drink; it was smooth on my throat and made my insides feel warm. Eli grabbed the bottle and took a few steps forward before sitting down against the wall, I followed suit and took a seat next to him. I felt another awkward silence fall upon us and I pulled my sleeves down over the tops of my hands. "Clare?" He asked quietly. Why did I feel fluttering in the pit of my stomach when he said my name?

"Yes?" I finally answered, turning to him. "My mom loved roses. I remember one morning I woke up to her painting a mural of a flower garden, she handed me a paint brush and dipped it in a light green paint, told me to outline one of the rose bushes…We spent all morning painting and by the end we were covered in paint." He let out a deep sigh, "I remember seeing her hands shaking and I knew the withdrawals were coursing through her. After a while she told me she was going to go wash her hands, when she came back her hands were no longer shaking and her eyes were glazed. "

My thoughts came like waves, one crashing over the other. Why did he use past tense? What exactly was she having withdrawals from? Is that why he asked about my tattoo? Should I ask why he used past tense? Did he want me to ask about his mother? I remembered the deep sigh; it was a sigh of pain, the kind of sigh you do to keep your voice from cracking. Eli took another drink and passed the bottle to me, we went back and forth as I tried to think of something to say. I could feel my mind starting to drown in alcohol, the warm feeling coursing through my veins was oddly comforting and next to me Eli sat staring into space with hazy eyes. My heavy eyes scanned over him, his jaw, his neck, his shoulders-I hadn't realized he was looking at me until my eyes started trailing back up his structure. "What are you looking at?" He raised an eyebrow, taking a swig. I blinked a few times, trying to focus on how to answer him. He laughed; it was a quiet humming sound in the back of his throat. "You're drunk." He said, stating the obvious as he slowly turned to lie on his back and look up at the stars. I rolled my eyes and lay down next to him. "I'm not drunk!" I claimed, but my words slurred together and I knew there was no getting around it.

He turned his head to look at me for a long moment before returning his gaze to the stars. Abruptly he started asking questions, simple and out of pure curiosity. Soon we were bouncing questions back and forth, from questions about our favorite colors to questions about religion, vegetarianism, and elephants; random questions built on drunken grounds and resulting in hysterics. Eventually, we quieted down and went back to gazing at the stars, making small talk. "What are you thinking about?" He whispered. My mind started racing, what exactly was I thinking about? Why couldn't I find it in me to put my thoughts into words? "I don't know. I'm intoxicated, and the sky is so beautiful and I'm so tired and I keep nodding out. What are you thinking about?" Eli laughed and turned on his side to look at me. For quite some time he did nothing but that, I counted his breaths and tried to keep my eyes open but the harder I tried to stay awake the more convincing sleep became. I faintly heard Eli's voice, "I like you when you're like this-I mean, not when you're drunk-when you laugh, when you take off the mask, when you put your guard down.." I felt something warm touch my cheek ever so gently before pulling away, it was only as I started to slip into the darkness that I realized it was his lips.

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Once again, thank you, thank you, thank you.

I am especially grateful for all of the wonderful people that stuck with me through my fallout with the fanfiction world and continued to read my past stories.

This is for you. You motivated me to come back. You reminded me of just how much I love writing, and just how much I never want to stop.


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